You did all the things everyone tells you to do. You followed the experts. You post consistently. You show up to the networking events, shake the hands, hand out the business cards.
And somehow, you still feel behind.
Here’s what nobody warns you about when you start chasing “doing it right.” The goalposts don’t stay still. The second you hit one, there’s a new one further out, and you’re comparing yourself against it before you even celebrate the last win.
The Moving Goalposts Problem
I hear this all the time, and I’ve lived it myself. Someone follows the advice, posts consistently, shows up to every networking event, does everything the experts say to do. And they still feel like they’re falling short.
Here’s what’s happening. The moment a goal is met, it quickly gets replaced by the next one. There’s never a finish line, just a series of moving targets, each one further out than the last.
I wanted my own business to grow like a hockey stick. Straight up, steady, predictable. What I got instead was a roller coaster, some months up, some flat, some that felt like a two steps backward. For a long time, every dip felt like I was failing, even in years where the overall I increased my revenue, profits and clients served.
You’re Further Along Than You Think
What changed that feeling of failing was taking a beat and looking back five years. Not last month. Not last quarter. Five years back, at what my goals were then.
I’d long since left those goals in the dust. Goals that I set even when they felt too big and had real uncertainty about whether they were realistic. I’d blown right through them without stopping to notice, because the next goalpost was stealing my attention.
And I see this with my clients too. Someone sits down feeling like they haven’t done enough, and the honest answer to “what did this look like five years ago?” is almost always: “far less than this”. Less revenue. Fewer profits. Less confidence walking into a room.
The Highlight Reel Problem
Part of what feeds this feeling is comparison, and most of that comparison happens on social media.
Social media is a highlight reel, not a full picture of anyone’s life or business. It’s the best few seconds of the week, chosen carefully, sometimes staged, always filtered through what someone wants others to see.
Comparing a full, complicated life to someone else’s highlight reel is like pitting a WWE wrestler against a beginner in high school and calling it a fair fight. The business owner who looks like they’ve got it all figured out online is dealing with something offscreen too. But nobody posts their worst Tuesday.
A useful question when you find yourself in that comparison is “would you want their whole life, or just the fifteen seconds they posted?” Most of the time, the honest answer is that you don’t have any idea what their whole life looks like.
A Habit for Celebrating Wins
Here’s something practical that also helps. Create a document, a physical notebook, a note on your phone, or a folder on your desktop. It doesn’t matter what it is. What matters is that it’s always easy to access.
Then put every positive thing in it. Every testimonial. Every success story you had a hand in. Every goal someone else reached because of your help. Every win of your own too, revenue milestones, charitable donations, moments worth being proud of.
- Make it easy to add to in the moment. It can be a single line that takes ten seconds or less
- Be specific. “Had a good week” doesn’t paint a picture. Capture real, specific stories.
- Set a recurring time to read back through it. This isn’t something you just add to, reviewing the wins is where the power lies.
On the days it feels like you’re failing, or not enough or your confidence is dipping, open the document. Read the real evidence, and prove to yourself how far you’ve really come.
The Bottom Line
Doing everything right and still feeling behind isn’t a sign something’s wrong with the business or you personally. It’s usually a sign of looking forward at the goalposts and never looking back to celebrate the wins.